Don't Fear the Dark
by NevaBorne
Summary: Katara feels out of place after the war. She and Zuko try to help heal the scarred, war-torn world, and find comfort in each other's company. Katara and Zuko must find the traitors threatening Zuko and the newly found peace and face these dangers together while a secret within the palace threatens to tear them apart permanently.


It had been a mere two days since the End of War celebration had taken place in the Fire Nation capital. The palace was still a hive of activity with Fire Nation generals and diplomats scurrying about like mice and representatives from the other nations running about in a similar manner. Although the peace treaty had been signed, there was still a lot of work to do in terms of restoring positive relations between the war torn countries, and solid plans had to be set in place to provide aid to the regions that had been affected the most.

Katara, as the daughter of the Southern Water Tribe's chief, had attended most of the meetings that took place over the course of the past two days. She couldn't remember the last time she'd slept more than a few hours per night.

Staring blankly at the piece of parchment in front of her and idly tapping her pen against her hand, she didn't hear the Fire Lord's announcement that the meeting was finally over and only subconsciously registered the fact that everyone was standing up from their chairs and leaving.

"Katara?" The voice broke through her stupor and she blinked, then looked up, suddenly realizing that Zuko was directly beside her, looking down at her with a mix of concern and tired amusement. "You alright?"

She nodded, allowing herself to smile. "Yes, I'm fine," she chuckled, standing up from her chair and gathering her papers. "Sorry, I think I kind of fell asleep with my eyes open there."

Zuko laughed a little. "To be honest, I think I did too. Who knew being Fire Lord involved so many boring meetings?"

Katara nodded, but couldn't stifle a yawn and a small stretch. Her back ached from sitting all day. "Well, when you aren't planning a war, all the boring things become important again." She yawned again.

"You should get some sleep. You look exhausted." Zuko said, the concern returning to his pale face.

Katara gave him a tired grin. "You should look in a mirror, Zuko. You don't look so hot yourself."

Zuko scoffed in mock offense at her words and clutched at his chest. "How dare you insult the Fire Lord? I'll have you exiled!"

She laughed and shook her head. "Goodnight Zuko. I'll no doubt see you tomorrow." With a final smile, she turned away and trudged out of the door. Her room was only two hallways down, but it seemed incredibly far away as she made her way down the corridor towards it.

As she opened her door, she was met with a horrible mess of a room. Her bags were half packed and the remainder of her clothes were strewn across the room and left where she had taken them off and neglected to put them in the laundry bin. With a jolt of disappointment? sadness? she realized that she still had to pack the rest of her belongings since she, her father, and Sokka were all due to return to the South Pole the day after tomorrow. Another wave of exhaustion hit her and she flopped down onto her bed without bothering to undress. Packing would have to wait. Sleep dragged her down and away from the messy room and into a swirling mess of dreams.

She woke, sweaty and tangled up in the blankets on her bed, breathing far more heavily than she should have been for just sleeping. Fuzzy memories of her dream flashed inside her mind, too unclear to understand but just clear enough to make her frustrated that she couldn't remember them better. With a groan, she untangled herself from the bed and stood up. Her clothes were wet with sweat and she was pretty sure her hair smelled like dirt. When had she last bathed? She couldn't remember.

A quick glance out the window revealed that it was still night. The moon, waning but still nearly full, was in the middle of the sky, glimmering with its silvery light. She closed her eyes for a moment and soaked in the moonlight, feeling rejuvenated at its touch. Still… a bath was necessary. Reluctantly turning away from the moon, she padded across to the washroom connected to her bedroom and turned on the faucet to the bath. Steamy water began to fill the tub, and as she waited, Katara busied herself with selecting a scent from the various bottles on the wall. A bottle filled with silvery, tiny dried flowers caught her eye. "Moon Lavender" the bottle said. She opened it and gave it a hesitant sniff, then closed her eyes and sighed happily. She couldn't quite describe the smell, but it was faintly familiar and filled her with a sense of peace. It was exactly what she needed, and she dumped some of the flowers into the hot water before undressing and slipping into the tub with an audible sigh of satisfaction.

She stayed in the tub until the water turned cold, rinsing and re-rinsing her hair with the wonderfully scented water until she was sure she had absorbed the smell of the flowers and felt completely refreshed. She stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around herself. When she returned to her bedroom, she could see the sky outside lightening, the stars fading, and she sighed as she realized that the day was almost upon her. Letting her towel drop to the floor, she padded over to the pile of clean clothes that were placed precariously on one of the many chairs in the room. Most of them were her warm winter garments that she had had washed in preparation of going home, so it took several minutes of digging to find an outfit that wouldn't suffocate her in the summer Fire Nation heat.

Finally dressed, Katara made her way out of her bedroom and down through the palace, taking now-familiar turns through the corridors to exit at the rear of the palace and into the gardens beyond. In her limited free time, she had visited the gardens often, finding them peaceful and relaxing amidst the craziness of the political hubbub. She was very fond of one spot in particular: a decently-sized pond surrounded by lilies with a small dock extending out into the water that she could sit on and swirl her feet in the water.

A cool breeze rustled through her hair as she made her way to the pond. She hadn't bothered to dry it with waterbending, and the wetness combined with the breeze sent a shiver down her spine. The morning was brisker than she had expected, a sign that the summer was nearing its close.

Katara sat for a while, staring at the ripples in the water as she swirled the tips of her toes in the pond. Her mind drifted away from the pond, dragging up memories of the past several weeks. So much had happened. So much had changed. A week ago they had still been on Ember Island preparing for the final battle. Now, here she was, in the Fire Nation palace, surrounded by Fire Nation politicians and military, but safe and respected as an equal. For the most part, anyway. She occasionally caught the mumblings or sideways glances of those men who thought it strange that a woman sat on their council and had the audacity to make intelligent suggestions, but those mumblings were rare enough that she didn't let it bother her too much.

"You're up early."

The voice made Katara jump a little, and she turned her head as Zuko, dressed in dark red pants and a loose shirt, sat down on the dock beside her.

"So are you," she countered, returning her gaze to the water and studying the reflections as they distorted with every small disturbance of the surface.

Zuko shrugged. "Or maybe I'm up very late and just never went to bed."

Katara glanced at him out of the corner of her eye but said nothing. The silence between them was a comfortable one.

After several minutes, Zuko broke the silence again. "Shouldn't you be packing? Or are you all packed and ready to go already?"

Letting out a noise that was somewhere between a groan and a sigh, Katara shook her head. "No. I dunno. I should be. I just… I don't know." She looked down at her hands, twisting them in her lap. Her stomach was twisting into knots, her heart beating faster than usual. Why was she so anxious to be going home? For the past year, she had remembered the South Pole fondly, dreaming of the day the war would be over and she could return home. But now…

"You don't want to go."

Katara looked up and met Zuko's gaze. "I don't know why. I mean, it's my home." She sighed. "But every time I think about it, I just remember that I've seen so many other places, and I've done so many things… The South Pole just seems so… small and constricting. There's nothing to do there except go penguin sledding and build snow forts and I just…" she hesitated, unsure how much she should confess. She looked back into Zuko's warm, golden stare, and she knew that she could trust him to understand. "I want to do more with my life than just raise babies in the South Pole."

Zuko blinked, a small frown furrowing his brows. "I thought you liked kids?"

"No, I do. I want kids, at some point, of course. But I don't want that to be _all_ I do, you know? I've literally traveled the entire world and my dream of becoming a master waterbender came true and I can't just walk away from all that and confine myself to doing one thing for the rest of my life." She exhaled, trying to calm her racing heart. Her anxiety had grown as she had spoken, as Zuko was watching her. Judging her.

The silence stretched out a bit too long for Katara's comfort as she watched Zuko process everything she had said. Finally, he spoke. "Forgive me if I'm wrong, but… I thought you and Aang were kind of… together. Surely being with the Avatar would provide the life of adventure you seek."

Katara visibly winced at his words. She hadn't realized that people knew anything about what happened between her and Aang. "We aren't together."

"Oh?" Zuko raised his eyebrow, obviously waiting on her to elaborate.

Katara looked at him and chewed at her bottom lip, debating whether or not to tell Zuko about Aang. She scooted a bit closer to him on the dock and dropped her voice to a whisper. "Please don't tell anyone, okay?"

Zuko nodded.

Katara bit her lip again and took a deep breath. "Aang kissed me twice before the battle, once after we tried to invade the Fire Nation during the eclipse, and once on Ember Island." She paused. "I tried to tell him that I didn't feel that way, that there was a war going on and I had other things to think about. He thought that I meant that after the war we would be together. So he tried to kiss me again after the celebration of the end of the war and it was just a giant mess and I hurt his feelings really badly and that's why he hasn't been around to help with all… this." She gestured vaguely at the palace around them.

Zuko remained silent as he processed what she'd said. "Katara, you shouldn't feel bad for being true to yourself. And if Aang isn't right for you, then it's good you didn't lead him on. It's good you let him go. He's young, he'll get over you. And you have your freedom to explore, to learn what you like, who you like, and to find meaning in your life."

Katara looked at him. His face was resolutely pointing forward, so she could only see the side of his face, his one good eye. As she looked, she couldn't help but feel a nagging twisting sensation in her stomach. Ever since Zuko had earned her trust, she'd felt very close to him. Their friendship was strong and steady, their shared experiences and losses bringing them together despite their differences.

"But now I don't know where to go or what to do. I fought in a _war_ and we won, and now I don't know where I belong. I know I should go back to the Southern Water Tribe and help rebuild it, but my father and Sokka will be fine without me, and I know exactly where my going back there would lead - a political marriage to some noble, either from the Fire Nation or the Northern Water Tribe, and a life of being someone's trophy wife." She wrung her hands in her lap. "I can't live like that, Zuko."

She felt him shift beside her as he inhaled deeply and readjusted his position on the dock. He stared at the horizon as the sun began to peek over, pale tendrils of golden-yellow light creeping across the garden and chasing away the greyness of predawn. "I can't tell you where you belong or what you should spend your life doing, Katara," he paused, looked at her, taking in the gold sunlight on her dark skin, "but I can offer you an option. Stay here, as my advisor. Agni knows I need someone with the determination and courage you have to help me keep my council in check. Uncle doesn't want to be too involved lest people start whispering that he's secretly controlling me."

Katara blinked, taken aback by Zuko's offer. She didn't know what to say, how to react. She couldn't tell if this was an offer that he'd come up with on the spot or if he'd been considering it for a while. And if he had, why? The silence stretched between them, becoming increasingly awkward.

"You don't have to decide right now. You don't have to decide in the next day or week. It's an open offer." He looked at her and smiled a small, sad smile. "Think it over. Even if you say no, remember that you're always welcome as a guest here, Master Katara."

And with that he stood, stretched for a few seconds, and retreated back down the dock towards the palace. Katara didn't take her eyes off him until he disappeared through the doors. The morning sun warmed her dark skin, the cool breeze rustling through her now-dry hair. A myriad of emotions swirled through her head, and she wasn't quite sure what any of them meant. The one thing she was sure of, however, was her answer to his proposal.

Despite his best efforts, Zuko couldn't shake the anxiety that bit into his soul whenever he thought about Katara and whether or not she'd accept his offer and stay. It haunted him throughout the day; he'd be completely fine, distracted by some political nonsense or conversing with someone, and then he'd catch a flash of blue and suddenly be dragged back down into worrying. Of course, he was imagining the blue. Katara herself was nowhere to be seen. With an ever-growing sense of disappointment every time he realized this, he assumed that she was in her room packing. Preparing to leave. And of course, that was her choice. He had made his offer, and she had made her decision.

"Hey, it's Prince Prissypants looking all mopey as usual."

The familiar voice snapped Zuko out of his depressing musings and he looked up, smiling as he recognized the small Earthbender approaching him.

"Hey Toph, nice to see you too."

She scoffed at him, rolling her eyes. "So why are you all mopey this time?" Zuko opened his mouth to respond but before he could, Toph continued. "Is it Katara?"

He blinked, frozen in shock. "W-what? Why would you think that?"

Toph rolled her eyes again, and Zuko couldn't help but wonder how a blind girl had learned such a thing. "You all seem to forget that I can feel more than just plain _movements_ with my feet. Your heart did an interesting mix between a dance and a race when I mentioned Katara's name - ah hah! It did it again!" Toph grinned.

Zuko felt his face burn hot with embarrassment and he looked down sheepishly at his shoes. "Shush, will you? Katara and I are friends. That's all. And she's leaving, anyway."

Toph stared blankly at him. "So?"

"Soooo…" Zuko continued, drawing out the word, "even if there _were_ feelings on either end, which there aren't, it wouldn't matter."

Toph scoffed again. "Man, boys can be _really _dumb sometimes."

Zuko frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Zuko," Toph said, becoming completely serious and lowering her voice, "everyone can see that you and Katara… well, you two are special. And when I say everyone, I mean _everyone_. Except maybe you and her. So stop being dumb."

Before Zuko could respond, Toph had turned and walked away, leaving him feeling dumbfounded, paralyzed, his heart racing as he considered what her words meant.

He took his dinner in his private room that night, not wanting to face Toph's knowing smirk or the sideways glances of everyone else. If what Toph said was true, it would be a more than awkward dinner, and he didn't think he could handle himself diplomatically in front of those he considered his friends. So he dined alone and let himself get lost in thought as he watched the orange-gold sunlight dip below the horizon beyond his window. He hadn't seen Katara at all since their conversation that morning. He wondered what she had been up to, what he would be facing in the morning. Would he be saying goodbye to her? And if so, for how long? He wanted her to be happy, but the thought of seeing her leave made him shiver, like he'd been stabbed with an ice-cold knife.

There was a knock at the door. "My Lord? There is a young lady here to see you."

Zuko's heart leapt and he stood quickly, almost spilling tea down the front of his robes. Flustered, he ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath to calm himself. "Show her in," he commanded, surprised that his voice was steady.

His excitement quickly turned to surprise, then disappointment, and finally guilt as the woman entered the room. She had pale skin and slanted eyes, her thin frame dressed in lavish robes of blood-red silk and her smooth black hair pinned into a tight black bun where two thin daggers were disguised as hair pins.

"Mai," he exclaimed, the surprise evident in his voice. He could only hope that the disappointment was not clear as well. "I, uh, wasn't expecting you."

Mai raised one eyebrow an infinitesimally small amount. "That is quite clear, Zuko. And I do apologize for my sudden appearance, but we have something to discuss that requires immediate attention."

Zuko couldn't hide the confusion on his face, but he nodded and gestured at his table. "Please, join me. Have you eaten? I can send for more food."

Mai waved her hand dismissively. "No, thank you. I already ate." She glided over to the table and took a seat. Zuko watched, a bit in awe, as she moved. He'd always admired her composure. She was the perfect example of a noble woman, save for the fact that she could easily kill anyone within fifty yards. But as he studied her, he caught the slightest hint that not all was well. The way she was carrying herself was… different.

He sat down tentatively on his chair, hands folded in his lap. They had not exactly ended on the best of terms, and he knew that it had been his fault. "So, Mai, what can I do for you?"

Mai pursed her lips together and looked down at her hands for a moment. "I need your help, Zuko. I'm pregnant."

The words hit him like a brick wall. He felt dazed, speechless, confused, terrified. He just stared at her, his mouth open slightly, for what seemed like an eternity. "I… but… but we… just the once… how?" His garbled words barely made sense. He felt light-headed. Everything in his body was screaming at him to run, but he couldn't. This news was… terrible. If he was being honest with himself, it was terrible. A child? Out of wedlock? And with Mai… Mai, a girl who he didn't love anymore and maybe never truly had.

Mai clearly saw the panic on his face. "Zuko, it isn't yours."

More confusion, more shock. "Wait… what?" He was hesitant to feel relieved, not until he knew the whole story.

Mai looked down, guilt written all over her face. "After you broke up with me, I was upset, and I did something stupid. I never intended for it to happen, but it did. And then I found out I was pregnant and I… I didn't know where else to go. I know it isn't yours and you have no obligation to help me, but I just… I have no one else."

Zuko had never seen Mai look so vulnerable. She was on the verge of tears and it pained him to see her like this. He may not love her, but she had been a large part of his life for a long time, and he knew exactly what this pregnancy meant for her. If people found out that she had conceived out of wedlock - out of even a _relationship_ \- then her life would be over. She would forever be scorned. Her nobility would not save her. The Fire Nation was ruthless when it came to marriage and children. She knew that, and she knew she was trapped with few options at her disposal.

"What do you need from me?" Zuko asked finally, hoping his words were soft enough, but worried that Mai might ask him to do something that he could not do.

Mai looked up, and he could see the tears glistening in her eyes. "I know you don't love me, Zuko, and I can't ask for that. All I ask is that you let me stay here, and that no one finds out, and that you help me find a good home for the baby."

Zuko was silent for a while. He wasn't sure how to react. He wasn't sure if her request was possible. The palace was filled with ambassadors and politicians and various servants scurrying about. He couldn't exactly confine Mai to a room and forbid anyone to enter it.

"How far along are you?" He asked. It was information he needed to know, but also a distraction from his racing thoughts.

"Five months. It's been getting harder and harder to hide it and that's why I came here. Zuko, I'm desperate. Please…"

He regarded her with sympathy. Mai never begged. Yet here she was. And he couldn't let her life be ruined by this. "I don't know how this is going to work, Mai, but I will do everything in my power to help you." He saw the relief and gratitude flash across her face as the tears began to trickle down her cheeks. "I will assign you a large suite with a balcony and will find the most trustworthy servants and guards I have to keep your secret safe. But Mai, I can't guarantee anything."

She nodded and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Thank you Zuko. I'll make this up to you, I promise."

Zuko stood. "Come on, you must be tired. Let's go find you a room."

With Mai finally settled into her suite in a seldom-visited part of the palace and with a small selection of servants to help her, Zuko found himself wandering towards the gardens. It had been a long day. An emotional rollercoaster. He was tired and stressed and he knew that his life would only become more complicated from now on.

The cool night air was welcome against his skin as he entered the garden. He turned down a path at random, breathing in the sweet smell of the flowers that his mother had planted all those years ago. A sudden stab of pain shot through his chest as he wondered what his mother would think of all that had happened to him. She had been gone for years when his father had scarred his face, and so much more had transpired since then. Would she approve of him helping Mai? Probably. She had been a kind soul, he knew. Too kind to survive a life with Ozai.

With a heavy sigh, Zuko sank onto a stone bench that had been placed between two large Fire Rose bushes and placed his head in his hands. He seldom allowed himself to feel such intense emotion. All his life he had hidden it behind anger. But now, alone in the garden with the silvery moon glinting high above in the sky, he let himself cry. Silent, salty tears streamed down his cheeks as his shoulders shook gently.

Katara watched Zuko silently from where she stood, concealed by darkness and the swaying tree branches. She had come to the garden hoping to find Zuko and tell him her answer to his proposal that she stay, but then he'd sank down on a bench and started crying, and she knew she couldn't intrude on his private moment of weakness. It felt wrong to watch him, even for the few moments she did, so she turned away quickly and made her way back through the gardens, careful not to make any noise that would alert him to her presence. Even as she left, though, a strange feeling swirled uncomfortably in her stomach. As she slipped back into the palace and padded through the hallways to her room, she realized that it was because she wanted to comfort Zuko. Seeing him in pain made her feel helpless, made her body ache with an unfamiliar pain.

It was strange, of course, she thought as she slipped her dress off and tucked herself into bed, because she had always been the type to want to help people. But this felt different. This didn't feel like the kind of desire she felt whenever Aang or Sokka were hurting, but she couldn't quite put her finger on _how _it was different. With a sigh, she snuggled deeper into her pillow and closed her eyes, letting herself drift off to sleep.


End file.
